An update

So, today has been a day of thought. As I sat in a cold hard desk all day at school, occasionally moving to a new classroom every 45 minutes or so, I was thinking about what I really want in life. Music is definitely a passion and I have received plenty of advice on what to do and how to get a band going, but being stuck where I am limits my opportunities. Then again I am only 17, 18 in a few long weeks, BUT I just want to do this so bad. I wanna tour the country, I want to play shows in places around the country. I want the adventure and the hardships that come with it. I'm just hoping one day that it will be my band headlining at the Metro or at the Vic, or at the Roxy.

Makes sense to me, how 'bout you?

Dancing on my own grave
Every day is the same.
Wishing the pressure would be released.
The feeling of inner peace
My future is looking blurry
Time to take off
But my flight is delayed
I feel betrayed
My thoughts consume everything.
The outside looks fine.
Inside it's a mess
Would you expect anything less?
Depressed
Over Stressed
You don't know the thoughts and images
Running through my head.
I don't even dream
I feel insane
Nothing will ever be the same.

A Thread of Sanity

Hey how's your head?
That was a pretty nasty fall.
No don't get up
There's to worry about
Nothing at all..

You're fine.
But from now on,
You're mine.
A prisoner of your own mind.

Social suicide of the individual.
Now a victim of emotion.
Suffocating from the pressure,
From all sides.
To fit a mold.
They say,
"It's time to put dreams on hold."
"You have been sold."

I am your conscious
The voice(s) inside
The one(s) hell bent
On Ruining your life.

Splitting headache
Matching heartache
Can't think
Not now
Not then
So is this the end?
Is this how it all turns out?
Where every must scream and shout?
My life is a broken record
One of misfortune and mess ups
The epitome of a teenage idiot

De-Railed

Stress and anxiety sets in
I'm not built for this
It's not in my blueprints
Someone hit the panic button
Not this time
They wanna see what happens
No emergency brake
Where's the shut off valve?
Oh shit
Hang on, no one is making it out this time around.
All sanity is gone
The emergency help switch is busted
No more time
Panic Panic Panic!
No one can help me this time
Not even the flying spaghetti monster..

Falling Apart

There was accident
And out come the wolves
This is serious.
How can you all be so delirious?
So up-tight
Your music
Your "life"
Wasn't founded on brutality
On some fucking hierarchy
It was about something more
A common bond
Between the youth
Of a sound so out of step.
Something that wasn't full of much
Musical depth and complication
But simple,aggressive, raw
Now there's one flaw
The people aren't the same
The values have changed
It's not right
No one should have to fight
We should unify
Not divide
I guess it is really dead
Time to grow up
Time to move on
It's all falling apart

Friday

It's Friday
Everyone's getting paid
Hell the guy next to me is probably getting laid
And all I ask is for something real
Something I can feel
Not a false hope
Not some sick joke
Where the punch line is my demise
I wish I could just open your fucking eyes
He hurt you once
Hell he may hurt you again
In the end it's just another heartbreak
For me and you
I'm through
Pain, is all just part of the game
It's driving me insane
And I'm not just sayin'
My mind is a mess
Loneliness consumes
But you wouldn't know..

War

Make Out
Fake Out
Repeat the process
Welcome to teenage romance
An endless game
That is far from tame
I'm sick of playing
Especially when you're the defeated
All my energy is depleted.
Welcome to teenage romance.
A game no more,
This is a war.

A Moment.

(This poem no longer applies to me but it may apply to you, if so you are lucky)

Let us not waste a moment.
Because every one we share is great
I think it's fate
On those night's where we stay up late
And talk about movies we adore,
You're all I could ask for
And more.
Don't say this is for nothing
Because I think we might have something
A connection,
A bond.
A moment isnt long.
But it is strong
And in a moment I realized,
Where I belong.

Pathetic?

I'm a romantic
A Poetic
Some say pathetic
Caught up in an infatuation
Nothing will ever come of my situation
Or So I think..

I'm in over my head
The King of words never said
I guess I'm crazy
Someone validate
Or Vindicate

Endings don't come easy
Just awkward and cheesy
Not even friends
We can't pretend
This process is becoming a bore
A Chore
We're friends and nothing more.

6/10/2010

Another lonely summer night,
Another end of a teenage life.
Innocence and ignorance go their separate ways
I've been waiting for days,
Months, almost a whole year
Why can't I face my fears?
My sanity is running into no man's land
Just looking for someone to hold my hand
I feel an invisible force just pulling my strings
In the direction of the unthinkable
Jealousy shows it's face in strange ways
And my mouth can't convey
The way I really feel anymore
Life now is nevermore
This place a curse
These days I feel the worst
These are the days of summer
Seeing you with him again is such a bummer
My mind says give up
My heart says keep it up
Everything is so confusing
I think I'm losing..

4/25/2010 New poem

How long must we put on this charade?
Feeling as though I'm lying to myself now
Everyday
I feel like Romeo and you're Juliet
But the story doesn't play out the way it was written
The feelings aren't mutual
I'm falling
Even though I shouldn't be
I'm not looking out for me
My well being
And for you
I'm just there
To be used
To be the utility knife in your life
And yet I get nothing in return anymore
All this is making me sore
I want to be the boy
At your balcony
Who beckons your name
I'm getting sick of this game
But I won't say anything
I'd rather be a fool
Than be alone

Ignorance is the New American Dream

You’re so ignorant.
Wanting to be something fake
The same thing you stare at through the glass
For heavens sake
That dream won’t last
You’ll suck in the next mass media memo
Now it’s the sheets of denim
Sucking around each leg like a million leeches
And your hair is part of the reason
That you have a sort of social cataracts
Some girly guy screaming up on a stage like a toddler
Tomorrow it’s back to bags suspended from the ground by rubber bands
And that sad excuse for music
Where one guy ruins good records
And makes the drum beats on a computer
With mindless rants about pointless topics
And messages that melt the brain.
Music a monkey can make.
Time to get up
Dressed like every other chimp in the jungle
Going to the same desk
Typing in pointless numbers into some spreadsheet
Now you’re rarely thinking
Always doing
Getting messed up
Blurring the days together
With that last cup of poison.
Go to a dead end job
Repeat the process
This is the American dream

This poem probably sucks.

Losing sleep
Over the things in my head
Are they real?
Or are they just there to confuse
Or just there to throw me off course
In the grand adventure of life
Regardless
I'm now lost in the ocean of ignorance
Why am I suffering?
Don't they say ignorance is bliss?
I can't shake this feeling
That lies with in the back of my head
Just wanting everything
To turn out for the best
But it's not possible to see where everything is
When you can barely see in front of your face
Blinded by self-doubt
And your shady decisions
Everything contributing to this incision
That goes deep to the core
Nothing I felt before
Being exposed to the truth
And seeing this shit hole
For what it's really worth

Crazy (work in progress)

Here's a song I'm working on:

Waking up has become such a chore
It's no fun for us to see each other anymore
Waking up is such a chore
You make yourself out to be such a whore

It's all in your subconciousness
Now you I'm none of your buisness

Now the lyrics make no sense
You say I'm full of ignorance

But I know
Your Crazy
About the way you
Hate me

Everything you do is one big cliche
You make me want to end this life today

Now the lyrics make no sense
You say I'm full of ignorance

But I know
Your Crazy
About the way you
Hate me

Dance

So I saw you from across the dance floor
You seem to be what I'm looking for
And you know that I see you
I towards you pushing through the crowd
The waves of people crashing together all around
And there was a pulsating beat timed with the waves
You were a tropical island in this sea of teenage hormones
Eventually I reach my destination
And in a single breath I ask you,
A night changing question,
"Do you wanna dance?"
So the act begins

There's sweat on my brow from the heat of the damn place
The way your body moved with mine
It seemed to put me in my place
Swaying to the beat
Singing along
To all the ridiculous pop songs
Then the moment comes
Acoustic guitars
Light vocals
The typical slow song
We're feeling as high as the stars
Just because we're in this moment
But after tonight
That's all it might end up being
A moment.
But let's not think about that
Because right now is all we have
And all we need
To be together
Letting our bodies sway
And dancing our troubles away

It's A Trap!

Trapped behind a barbed wire fence
After an encounter I thought would never end
Leading me into a trap
Luring me in with your scent
You leaned in and gave me a kiss
I proceeded to think there was more
But then you whispered in my ear
We're just friends.
Where is Admiral Ackbar when you need him?

Thoughts of the Day: March 7

So our school's Turnabout dance is this upcoming Saturday, and I'm not a huge school dance person but I really want to go to this one. The only thing is I feel weird when I go by myself and the slow song comes on and I'm sitting off to the side by myself. I don't know, I'm just weird/stupid. Not to mention this weekend kind of sucked a little. I didn't get much done, but whatever it's the weekend.

Mike

March 6, 2010

Sitting in a dark cold room
It's early March
Thought's of despair entering a broken mind
Straining the senses
Wishing for the warmth of an embrace
No not yours
Anyone but yours
Wanting those night walks to the park
Just to watch the stars and moon over the lake
Or watching a sunset in the evening
It's a simple request
But maybe it's too much
Too much to want
It's still to far out of reach
I sit here in my cold dark room
Trying to grasp the ideas and dreams of
The summer

First Post!

Well today I post my first post on this new adventure that is my blogger profile. Just thought I would give this a go. I will be posting many random thoughts and poems through the life of this profile. Well nice meeting ya!

Mike